I (probably) don't use this blog anymore
grab life by the door handles and realize you’re pulling on a push door
u can’t spell boobytrap without partyboob
"Hey, I found your blog on Tumblr-"
if you had a really terrible phase where you were an offensive little asshole but you know better now i wanna let you know that i’m proud you were able to pull yourself out of that because some people just don’t know when to grow the fuck up but you did
could you please put your crying kid on vibrate
yesterday was nine years ago
just let that sink in